I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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