yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There r osticjed everywhere
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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