They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
