I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize