don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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