should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
