Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
