Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
FUCK WHALES
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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