So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
did you just send me my own nude
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
