I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
