yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
