she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
