Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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