shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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