if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
