I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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