my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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