Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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