Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
