chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
