Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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