Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
