I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize