Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
wanna go halves on a baby?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
