I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
