I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
