How'd it feel making her break her religion?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
where does the pee come out of this thing
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
