Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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