you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
