someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
