I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
