drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
