I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
