This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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