You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
