her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
