living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
