Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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