yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
