She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
