You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
