My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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