good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can I color on your dick again?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
