I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
