Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
