so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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