Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
