Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
