scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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