I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
