i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
