I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
