1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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