Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
