this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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