i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
