i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
