Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
