She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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