I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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