My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
