his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
