SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
