I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
